At Penny Arcade Expo, there will be very few models in revealing clothing. In fact, they’ve been told that they aren’t welcome. It’s been common practice for PR groups trying to garner attention for their products at events like this to hire booth babes, but a recent poll of Penny Arcade’s online community showed that people going to PAX this year would rather have representatives that know about the product instead of just getting something to ogle at. There is an exception when it comes to cosplay (dressing up as a character), so models advertising products that show a little skin, some leeway is allowed there.

This ban on titillation was bound to happen. Stories of convention-goers waiting hours in line to learn about the newest piece of technology, only to be get a picture with a model/sales rep who couldn’t tell them the first thing about the wares they’re shilling, have been collecting on the Internet with every successive year of exhibitors selling to the lowest common denominator. This has always been a bit out of touch with the attendants, who have likely traveled quite a distance just to pay to see advertisements. These are folks who have a very definite goal in mind. While eye candy is nice, the crowd (some of which are younger kids) has a need that isn’t being satisfied.

All these exhibitors were doing was creating a series of awkward situations in which hired models are in an environment have no experience in, and attendees are encouraged to engage in behavior that they know is superficial and inappropriate. The poll wasn’t the only factor that caused this ban, though. The Penny Arcade creators themselves have stated their opinion on booth babes, too. Therefore, this years’ Penny Arcade Expo will have little of that, preferring to let guys there keep awkward interactions with girls to every other day of the year.

Damn. Christmas is here again.

Not to imply I don’t enjoy the holidays- I do. I live in a place where the snow falls softly and thick wool socks are in abundance.  Christmas has always been one of the best parts of the year for me. But I doubt there are few who would disagree with me when I say that being with family can be emotionally draining (or in other words- it can suck at times). I’m in close proximity with a group of people who know my successes along with my failures I’ve hidden so craftily from the rest of the world. “Impossible is Nothing”? Please. Impossible is telling my mother I don’t like the hat she gave me.

So what to do this sort of situation? I suppose just try to make it work, put in the effort to understand each other, and it sometimes takes a LOT of effort. I try to do this, because I know I alienate a lot of people with my awkward social graces, extended periods of time spent on the Internet, and long, pointless rants on why Limiter Bracelets are a terrible anime cliche. I owe it to other people and to myself to try to understand other people before telling them why I’m right (and they’re wrong).

I say this because I think it’s not enough to just spend time with family during the holidays. You’ve got to use that time, too.

Merry Christmas, Mom.

Pictured above: The fast-paced, action-filled, edge of your seat dialogue system in Mass Effect
This is my first cblog, so I thought I’d start out by revealing something about myself: I love playing as the hero in RPGs. Constantly, incessantly, without fail when given the choice between a good or evil moral choice, I go with good. No matter how annoying or frustrating the NPC, I walk the path of righteousness. Why? Maybe because I didn’t have adequate acceptance from my peers as a child. Maybe my ego demands that all people, both real and virtual, see me as a likable figure. Or maybe I’m just a good person (unlikely, but possible).

For whatever reason, I choose to be a good guy. What do RPG developers do to reward this behavior compared to the rewards a player gets by choosing to be evil? Normally, I get a rushed thanks and some gold or a weapon, plus a little boost to my karma or whatever arbitrary point system used to differentiate between saintly and Hitler-esque. And if I’m really lucky, I get no gold or weapon but more karma.

Frankly, just getting a pat on the back and stuff what kills things gooder gets boring. I could try being evil, but it basically pans out the same way. Carcasses and some more stuff that puts down your enemies right quick. It’s like being a kid at Christmas who only gets sweaters and school stuff. You only really get two options in these games that are pretty much the same formula. Here’s how I boil down every moral choice ever-

Good Decision + Kill Bad Guys = Profit

Evil Decision + Kill Good Guys = Profit

Good or Bad seems to be the only variable that’s available to the player, and that’s a problem. When I talk about this with others, most of them think the solution is to add more moral ambiguity. While I agree that may be part of the solution, I don’t think that’s the only way. There are many more variables that are rarely considered that can be added to this equation. For example, in Fable 2, your actions changed how every NPC interacted with you. As a good guy, you were loved by every woman and respected by every man (or some combination thereof). This made it easy to get a spouse and get discounts at stores with increased inventories. So the Lionhead formula would be-

Good Decision + Kill Bad Guys = Popularity

Evil Decision + Kill Good Guys = Infamy

The way the NPCs in Fable 2 react to you doesn’t significantly change how the game plays out, but what if it did? In games like Persona 4, Knights of the Old Republic: The Sith Lords, and Mass Effect (sorta), your main character had to have conversations with his or her allies, it was a key part of the game. As you became better friends in Persona 4, new powers and abilities would become available. If you said the right things to the right characters in KOTOR, you could fill your space frieghter full of Jedi or Sith. And in Mass Effect you could unlock brand new stories through entirely optional conversation. Lets say this kind of formula looks like this-

Popularity + Good Decision = Profit

Infamy + Evil Decision = Profit

There’s an overlap between these games and another genre that most people ignore. Namely, dating sims. Like RPGs, you slowly build up your character to meet a goal. While that goal is usually doing the nasty in dating sims, the underlying concept of words being your primary weapon to affect change in the world is terribly unnoticed.

Try to imagine now, a game set in WWII where you’re a spy behind enemy lines out to spread anti-Nazi propaganda, or an RPG where you lead a squadron of misfit soldiers whose abilities are directly guided by not only the missions you send them on, but also by how they view you, or if you’re a particularly sadistic type, a Phoenix Wright style game where you discover and attack your enemies insecurities to send them into a downward spiral of psychological uncertainty.

I’m just spit balling with these, but the whole choice system and charisma stat in general are way too limited. If it’s not discussed, we’ll get more games with moral challenges like “Save the World or Kick a Cat?”.

Which would be just great.

There’s a lot I missed in the three days I spent at Penny Arcade Expo, the Halo 3: ODST demo, the Left 4 Dead 2 demo, the H1N1 virus that was getting passed around, and the 6 hour line for Dragon Age: Origins as demonstrated with the above picture. Granted, I was able wait for hours on end in lines so long and labyrinthine I could easily forget about the names and faces of all the people I loved. For the most part, these lines were worth the wait. Listening to Tim Schaefer talk about storytelling in videogames was phenomenal. Seeing new videos of Knights of the Old Republic made me almost want to try the unholy pleasures of MMO gaming. Talking about the industry with the indie developers of the PAX 10 was unlike anything I’ve ever done before. Sadly, this made the rare exceptions when the wait was definitely NOT worth it all the more bitter.

While Dragon Age: Origins looks fun, the line for the demo was just inexcusable, especially when you compare it to other exhibitors who had more consoles, or scheduled times, or at the very least handed out swag as a consolation for those who got snubbed in line (Nintendo did this with Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story, which I appreciated. Plus the Mario beanie was pretty cool.) There were a few other offenders, but it was the one gripe I had with what was a totally rockin’ experience.

Each exhibitor had a different setup, so just taking a few steps would lead to an entirely different experience. There were demos, gigantic projectors, marketing guys talking up some tech thing or game, or in the case of Bethesda, doing all of those things plus handing out t-shirts and posters to anyone who passed by. After PAX, and giving it all some time to digest, I’ve found there’s a lot of people out there vying for your attention, but only some of them earned it with me.

Guys, get Wet when it comes out on the fifteenth.

But please, don’t buy any more Madden games. I’m begging you.